I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
