Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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