He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
wow bdsm is so cute
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
