I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
