apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
