she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
