we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
