Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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