i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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