THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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