OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am naked and annoyed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
