I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
