five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
