All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
