Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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