? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
