Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
