yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
