We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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