did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize