I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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