and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
