An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
