I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
