ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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