Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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