Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize