Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
