I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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