how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
