i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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