It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
