why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize