your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
