I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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