i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize