He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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