I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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