I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
