About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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