Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
