Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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