i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
did you just send me my own nude
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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