Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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