you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
