you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
