a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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