we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize