you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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