I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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