Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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