If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
