we're blogging at a bar
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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