I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
