I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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