At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize