Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
