with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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