So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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