talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
