Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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