I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize