I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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