Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize