Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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