was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize