Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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