they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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