I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
