Christians are straight up FREAKS
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
