I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
