i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't shave. On purpose
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize