seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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